Short Funny Jokes - A German woman.......

A German woman called up Central and instructed her as follows:

"Ist dis de mittle? Veil dis is Lena. Hang my hustband on dis line. I vant to speak mit him."

SHORT FUNNY JOKES TIDES

A Kansan sat on the beach at Atlantic City watching a fair and very fat bather disporting herself in the surf. He knew nothing of tides, and he did not notice that each succeeding wave came a little closer to his feet. At last an extra big wave washed over his shoe tops.

"Hey, there!" he yelled at the fair, fat bather. "Quit yer jumpin' up and down! D'ye want to drown me?"

SHORT FUNNY JOKES TIME

MRS. MURPHY—"Oi hear yer brother-in-law, Pat Keegan, is pretty bad off."

MRS. CASEY—"Shure, he's good for a year yit."

MRS. MURPHY—"As long as thot?"

MRS. CASEY—"Yis; he's had four different doctors, and each one av thim give him three months to live."—Puck.

SHORT FUNNY JOKES TIPS

"What do you consider the most important event in the history of Paris?"

"Well," replied the tourist, who had grown weary of distributing tips, "so far as financial prosperity is concerned, I should say the discovery of America was the making of this town."

SHORT FUNNY JOKES

JUDGE—"Your innocence is proved. You are acquitted."

PRISONER (to the jury)—"Very sorry, indeed, gentlemen, to have given you all this trouble for nothing."

SHORT JOKES WASPS

The wasp cannot speak, but when he says "Drop it," in his own inimitable way, neither boy nor man shows any remarkable desire to hold on.

Short Funny Jokes

A country girl was home from college for the Christmas holidays and the old folks were having a reception in her honor. During the event she brought out some of her new gowns to show to the guests. Picking up a beautiful silk creation she held it up before the admiring crowd.

"Isn't this perfectly gorgeous!" she exclaimed. "Just think, it came from a poor little insignificant worm!"

Her hard-working father looked a moment, then he turned and said: "Yes, darn it, an' I'm that worm!"